Though Joss Whedon says The Avengers is an imperfect movie, I contend that it’s perfect entertainment. It’s what the summer movie season is made for. But I’m just going to go ahead and point out the big error in the film (SPOILERS AHEAD!):
Why no shirtless Thor? Captain America? Iron Man? Hawkeye? Hell, I’d take Agent Coulson shirtless!
Sure, we got 25 seconds of Bruce Banner naked in some rubble. But it wasn’t sexy. It wasn’t in a moment of action. It was just sort of, eh. As much as I love Mark Ruffalo for being totally cute and charming and an incredible actor - I can guarantee you that his contract didn’t require he add 35 pounds of pure muscle before shooting. (I’m looking at you, Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans.)
Thinking back, the Thor movie surprised me. It turned the objectification of the body on its head. Natalie Portman and Kat Dennings donned flannels and puffy vests for most of the movie and cleavage was always at a minimum. (And we all know that Dennings isn’t short on titty.) Instead, the entire film was designed to gaze at Thor. Both from the perspective of the supporting characters and from the audience.
Marvel nerds will take me to task if I don’t mention the fact that Thor is a God and, in my opinion, this fact influenced the cinematography. If you’re really paying attention, you’ll notice just how slowly and thoughtfully the camera passes over his body. I don’t think it’s a stretch to suggest that director Kenneth Branagh was throwing a wink to all the ladies and gays in the audience with this film.
Now, back to lack of abdominals in The Avengers. This infographic helpfully titled, "Reasons your girlfriend loved and hated The Avengers," suggests that Scarlett Johansson is the primary reason why the ladies didn’t dig The Avengers. (I disagree on the order on the loved pie, but it’s irrelevant.) I have yet to meet a single woman who didn’t love The Avengers, but we all agreed: more abs. More shoulder muscles. More arms. More of this:
(It would be drastically improved if that shirt wasn’t involved.)
Don’t worry boyfriends of the world. Your girlfriend doesn’t give a shit about ScarJo. She’s got lots of other things to look at when it comes to the Marvel films.
(Gif credit: Thanks to the person in the comments section over at Kotaku for posting this gif. I can’t find you again - so, I’m sorry - but believe me when I say that I’m sending positive feelings in your direction.)