Nail art is a thing. A certifiable cultural trend. And it’s not just for tacky ladies smoking Virginia Slims anymore. Here’s how I’m rocking it:
When I first entered the professional working world in the mid 2000s, it was a total faux pas to go to work with a mani in any color other than “ballerina pink” or simple top coat. I for one am glad we have all gotten more liberal about our phalanges decoration. In my highly unprofessional opinion, the key to nail art appropriateness these days lies in the length of the nails. Here’s what I mean:
Shorties: These are people whose nails don’t go past the skin. These nails are clean cut and attractive - not chewed up. Don’t do that! EEEH. It’s flu season. If for no other reason than to avoid feeding yourself germs inadvertently. Sorry, rant. Anyway, if you rock the shorties, you can get away with:
Average: These are nails that aren’t too long, aren’t too short, but right in the middle. The centrist of nail politics, if you will. If this is your nail length of choice, go for:
Long: To me, this is the hardest length to pull off. They are visually obvious and even make noise if you type alot. People just notice them. I also think our modern technical world makes them virtually impossible to manage. Have you tried texting on a touch screen with these? YEESH. That’s why I think it’s important to keep it simple if you are going to go for this bold length. Try:
As long as we are fingering around this subject, I’d like to address some speculation I’ve seen here and there: Yes, I have dwarfism of the thumbs. Otherwise known as “Clubbed Thumb” or “Toe Thumb” or “Murderer’s Thumb” or “Potter’s Thumb”. It’s pretty obvious if you have ever watched one of my DIY videos. Medically, it’s called a brachydactyly type D. And yes, it’s a genetic abnormality. No, it won’t get me membership in the X-Men. And no, I have no idea why so many murderers have clubbed thumbs. Due to the weird look of my thumb, I don’t usually grow my nails long, because my thumb looks freaking weird when I do. So if you choose to ignore all of this advice because of that - well, I understand.